Rant

歌手: Bo Burnham • 专辑:Ironic • 发布时间:2022-01-19
作词 : Bo Burnham
 作曲 : Bo Burnham
 I went to a Catholic school for four years, and I also owned a GarageBand, uh, for 20 minutes, and this is the product of that. Hit it

 All the seats at the Sunday masses
 Filled with the masses' massive asses
 Classes pass as fast as molasses
 Ceremonial reading glasses
 Read a little bit of Leviticus
 All the kids are a little too little for this
 All the parents nod in agreement
 "I think I can vaguely see what He meant."
 It's too early in the morning, glory
 To read another allegory story
 The father reads a little bit farther
 Assuring the assured that they need not bother
 "When God, in verse 45
 Said that slaves are okay to buy
 He meant that people all from the start
 Each have 'slaves' within their hearts:
 Things that we have sold or bought
 That are forced to pick our moral cotton
 God calls us to set these free
 Free our hearts from slavery
 And then as God goes on to explain
 The logistics of buying and selling slaves
 Uh...he...the bible's sorta like...uhhh...there's like...typos"
 In the back, I sit and I nod
 To the beats that are bumping from my iPod
 My God, they're starting to pray
 And over the music I can hear them say
 "Dear God, dear Lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
 Dear good, all-seeing being
 'My way or the highway' Yahweh
 The blue-balled anti-masturbator
 The great all-loving f****t-hater
 I'd like to thank your holy might
 For making me both rich and white
 And though this is your day of rest
 I come to you with one request:
 There's so much pain beyond this steeple
 Wars and drugs and homeless people
 Sadness where there should be joy
 Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
 A world in darkness needs your light
 So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
 But my dog just had surgery
 If you could fix that first?
 JESUS!"
 Debra Messing's finger's in a holy place
 Hail Mary full of Grace
 Obama could you pass some hope to the Pope
 I know a couple dudes who wanna elope
 See the church said nope so the bros can't cope
 The bros can grope but the bros can't cope
 They've been in love and they've been addicted
 Who said they shouldn't? Benedict did
 Cause in the holy land of the Lord
 He's the holy landlord
And b*****s are evicted
 Cause you can be a Benedict
If you've been a shit under Benedict
 But you can't have Benedicts
 Because there's only one pope
With only one d**k
What? yeah, a **** on a pope is
 Just like a soap on a rope
 Cause it's pointless, unless in prison
 Throw up your bibles, Christ has risen
 Hallelujah, now it's raining men
 Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10
 Winos at the Eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
 Jesus wasn't the Messiah
 Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
 It was Oedipus those holy nights
The holy ****ing Christ
 I'm a blasphemah
 Post-Katrina
 Cruising the marina
 On a crusade to cruise aids
 And blast FEMA
You're too late, we're ****ed we don't need ya
 Amen, in the name of the father, son and holy ghost
 Head, shoulders, knees and toes
 Turn up your nose, strike that pose
 HEY MACARENA!
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