Ad Infinitum

歌手： The Stupendium • 时间：

📝 纯歌词版本 

作词 : Gregory Holgate
 作曲 : Quinlan Stuwe
Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
Hey, hey, hey!
Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
Living in a goddamn garbage can?
Hahahahaha!
Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
In your community
Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
(Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
(Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
(Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
I used to be nothing but the email guy
Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
Hahahahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
See, it says just here, right here, last year
On the third of the fourth at 5:06
You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
Moist, delicious cookies
Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
And we’ll guess what every habit is
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
You’ll be categorically catatonic
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
You’d better cancel your plans
(Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
Why won’t Mike just call me?
Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
Jackdaw? Doorstop?
(Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
Adderall? Ads are all seeping
Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
(Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
(You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
If you wanna get the gold
Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
Milk the humans of their kindness
Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
You want it, need it, don't you see?
But if you wanna make your screen green
You’re gonna need my kromer key
Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
Right here in Cyber City
See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
(You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
...can anyone hear me? Help
...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
(Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
(Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
The very model of a modern major general store!
But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
Now the ads have got the traffic
And we’ve grabbed your demographic
So you’re packing up your basket
'Cause your dad has gotta have it
He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
So you trash it then you get back into your car
'Cause you don’t have it
And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
(Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
Regional ratings are lethally fading
Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
(Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
Deals so good I’ll **** myself
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(HYPERLINK BLOCKED)

🎵 LRC歌词版本 

[00:00.000] 作词 : Gregory Holgate
[00:01.000] 作曲 : Quinlan Stuwe
[00:04.259]Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
[00:06.442]Hey, hey, hey!
[00:07.742]Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
[00:09.414]All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
[00:12.127]Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
[00:14.336]Living in a goddamn garbage can?
[00:17.228]Hahahahaha!
[00:19.562]Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
[00:21.277]To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
[00:22.968]Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
[00:25.368]Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
[00:27.429]In your community
[00:30.553]Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
[00:32.199](Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
[00:34.084]You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
[00:35.815]That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
[00:37.527]From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
[00:40.949]Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
[00:42.594]Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
[00:44.545]Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
[00:46.072]Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
[00:47.734]Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
[00:49.385]Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
[00:51.142](Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
[00:53.009]But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
[00:54.636](Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
[00:56.263]All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[00:58.131]I used to be nothing but the email guy
[01:00.290]Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
[01:04.573]Hahahahahaha!
[01:05.039]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[01:06.366]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[01:08.026]We can tell you what you want
[01:09.674]Before you realise what you need
[01:11.436]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[01:13.126]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[01:14.857]We take cash or card or credit
[01:16.594]But we’ll take your heart for free
[01:18.061]Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
[01:19.782]Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
[01:21.845]Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
[01:23.662]And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
[01:25.323]All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
[01:26.936]Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
[01:28.748]You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
[01:30.526]Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
[01:32.284]See, it says just here, right here, last year
[01:33.993]On the third of the fourth at 5:06
[01:35.702]You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
[01:38.083]Moist, delicious cookies
[01:39.395]Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
[01:41.320]And we’ll guess what every habit is
[01:42.229]Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
[01:44.575]You’ll be categorically catatonic
[01:45.803]At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
[01:47.565]A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
[01:48.939]An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
[01:50.679]You’d better cancel your plans
[01:51.430](Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
[01:53.013]Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
[01:55.296]Why won’t Mike just call me?
[01:56.371]Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
[01:58.301]Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
[02:00.571]Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
[02:02.683]Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
[02:04.071]Jackdaw? Doorstop?
[02:04.686](Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
[02:06.712]Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
[02:08.462]Adderall? Ads are all seeping
[02:09.646]Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
[02:11.468]Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
[02:13.020](Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
[02:13.769]Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
[02:15.468]Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
[02:17.192]You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
[02:18.470]There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
[02:20.419]Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
[02:22.442]You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
[02:24.899]Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[02:27.396](You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
[02:31.123]Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
[02:33.937]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[02:35.483]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[02:37.154]We can tell you what you want
[02:38.761]Before you realise what you need
[02:40.614]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[02:42.323]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[02:44.005]We take cash or card or credit
[02:45.850]But we’ll take your heart for free
[02:48.046]Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
[02:49.551]You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
[02:51.256]If you wanna get the gold
[02:52.049]Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
[02:52.903]Milk the humans of their kindness
[02:53.931]Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
[02:54.779]You want it, need it, don't you see?
[02:57.777]But if you wanna make your screen green
[02:59.902]You’re gonna need my kromer key
[03:01.385]Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
[03:02.797]Right here in Cyber City
[03:04.576]See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
[03:05.881]Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
[03:08.564]But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
[03:10.056]All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
[03:11.754]Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
[03:13.642](You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
[03:15.240]Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
[03:16.658]Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
[03:18.007]Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
[03:19.614]Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
[03:22.015]Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
[03:23.884]Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
[03:25.602]Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
[03:27.160]All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
[03:31.348]...can anyone hear me? Help
[03:38.239]...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
[03:42.641]We’ve got never bettered bargains
[03:44.071]We’ve got deals you won’t believe
[03:45.733]We can tell you what you want
[03:47.239]Before you realise what you need
[03:49.141]If you’ll pardon us the jargon
[03:50.846]Here’s our Darkner guarantee
[03:52.569]We take cash or card or credit
[03:54.259]But we’ll take your heart for free
[03:56.187](Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
[03:57.995](Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
[03:59.907]Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
[04:01.489]I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
[04:03.342]It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
[04:04.533]First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
[04:06.517]And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
[04:08.118]The very model of a modern major general store!
[04:10.140]But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
[04:11.804]Those who have it really have it
[04:12.605]If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
[04:13.954]Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
[04:15.747]Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
[04:16.966]Now the ads have got the traffic
[04:17.995]And we’ve grabbed your demographic
[04:18.652]So you’re packing up your basket
[04:19.580]'Cause your dad has gotta have it
[04:20.528]He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
[04:21.953]So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
[04:23.643]Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
[04:25.399]So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
[04:27.103]And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
[04:28.808]So you trash it then you get back into your car
[04:29.906]'Cause you don’t have it
[04:30.429]And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
[04:32.386]Those who have it really have it
[04:32.897]If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
[04:34.071]Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
[04:36.089](Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
[04:37.567]In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
[04:39.180]There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
[04:40.908]There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
[04:42.752]Regional ratings are lethally fading
[04:44.407]Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
[04:46.276](Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
[04:47.900]Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
[04:49.556]Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
[04:51.333]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:53.251]Deals so good I’ll **** myself
[04:54.748]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:56.526](Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
[04:58.037]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[04:59.459]I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
[05:01.607]Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
[05:04.098](HYPERLINK BLOCKED)

🌍 纯翻译歌词 

哇哦！这钚是一个，光之苠吗！
嘿，口黑，嘿！
看起来你（深夜孑然一身）？
你所有的朋友，（丢下你玩史莱姆），去了？
销量，下滑如（流水）（流水）？？
只好住进天杀的垃圾桶？？？
口合口合口合口合口合！
老兄，不管你是不是（闭上了双眼）
这（余额）让你并不想要面对
又或者没意识到大打（折扣）
仅需要你把（心形物件）晒在
社交平台上
嘿孩子，看看你！正确的时间，正好的地儿
你口袋里那（正是收获的好时机！）的钱钱真是正点！
你可真走运！太-走运了！喔，真的太，太走运了！
因为你已被选为（榉世无you双的太项目！）的赞助商
甲方正是各位砰友最喜欢的（好评率第1的推销员）（始于1997）！
很荣幸这么说！很荣辛这么说！！
是的，就是有这么荣幸！（是的，先生！）
难道你不想莱点乐子吗，（小海绵）？
要是这个小玩意能把你从郁郁寡欢中拔出？
安居乐业（*风险资本！）真！香！
听好了！此时不搏待何时
（嘿，老兄！）我看清了你那暴力的本性
可你难道不想成为成为一个（大人物！！）吗？
（今日就来咨询！）秘密正待发倔！
你只需要（链接已屏蔽）
从前我只不过是个发邮件的家伙
可现在我已经是（好烫！嗷！快停下！救命啊！烫死我啦！）了！
口合口合口合哈口合口合！
史无前例的绝佳好货
难以置信的超赞交易
看穿您心中的诱惑
竭露您真正的所需
若您接受这些行话
暗之民包管您满意
支持现金会员信用卡
只要您的决心当回礼
精神萎靡不振？人生失去掌控？
生活一塌糊涂？遭受朋友鄙弃？
震惊！一组没人曝光的解决方法（最早由一位母亲发现）
我确信，有99.9%的人都想不到第五条！
你所梦寐以求的光辉，璀璨！
系好安全带！快去扼住（愚蠢的提线）！
是你的！就是你的！只要你一句话，就能到手！
哈哈哈口合哈！可是我没在听
瞧，上面写了，就这里，在去年
在5:06处，第四页的第三行
你在网上搜索了猫片（老铁没毛病！）
新“潮”的，美味的这li些shi饼ji干lu
打出的“猫猫”作为催化剂，就到手了这份推荐
我们会猜猜诸位的喜好偏向
想要够买“猫”洞？“猫”食？“毛”血旺？“锚”船？
但你别“贸”然地火“冒”三丈
这场“贸”易一定会让你感“冒”
汇集（所有你最喜欢的外“贸”品牌）
“冒”险挑起广告主义的对立（急需现金）！
不过“貌”似你最好还是打消你的计划
（饼干和泡菜还有扑蝇胶请自费购买）！
要不来个“猫”猫公仔？公仔玩具？玩具装盒？装盒白酒？
“就”是迈克为啥再无消“息”？？？
“西”洋双陆棋包？“爆”炒火腿蛋？蛋椅？椅子床？
床上擦浴？擦浴海绵？海绵痛恨它那（仅售$4.99！）
“救”生船？船鞋？鞋带？“袋”豆？
豆包？“暴”风笛？“滴”答的土制炸弹？“单”件紧腰短夹克？
“客”串的寒鸦号？“好”用的门停？
（停下！不，求求了！别拿走我的家具了！）
停表？“镖”客狗？狗链？“练”练库罗德车？
“测”测***？“暗”处的广告渗入荧屏
“乒”乓？“庞”大的雨衣？“一”条阻风门链？链锯？
“巨”型剑鱼？鱼肉烤扇贝？“北”美大山猫？
（你 到 底 还 要 不 要 “猫” ？！）
好吧，你不是想成为一个（大人物）吗？
难道你不想成为（下一颗巨星）？
你能做到！没错，真的，千真万确
得来全不费功扶，我保证，听听电话铃声吧！
铃，铃，铃，铃，铃，钅令，铃，铃，铃
你是认真的吗？...是找你的  *乱哄哄的噪音*
想听个秘密吗..？（链接以屏蔽）
（你还可以）和那个（莫名其妙的笑声）去（亲密接触）一下
马上，我就能超过那个天杀的...镇上小丑！
史无前例的绝佳好货
难以置信的超赞交易
看穿您心中的诱惑
竭露您真正的所需
若能忍受这些行话
暗之民包管您满意
支持现金会员信用卡
只要您的决心当回礼
神圣的（超级妈耶车！）啊，你在这呢（时髦的）小（蠕虫）
看来你还没意识到自己的价值有多高
如果你想挣大钱
好吧你得学着点
榨干人类的良心
才有（用来搅拌的黄油）
你，想，它；要，它；还，不，懂？
不过如果你想要再多薅点羊毛
那你急需我的“大羊”生成器
没错，你惹火烧身，朋友（你 说 啥？）
在这座赛博城
瞧瞧，我曾经可是个（顶流）（大人物！）
最好的交易！最好的载具！最好，（三角洲最实惠的价格）
但你能重回巅峰！哈哈口合！是的，你可以！
你只用按照我的（十二步计划）走
大，更大，就像电话另一边说的一样
（去打听打听这条街上最靓的仔！！！）爱财有道，君子取之
有没有好心人能可怜可怜
我们这家破旧的小杂货铺？
走你！拿下！再走你再拿下！！
做笔交易！大生意，大价钱！年末清仓，全场五折
最新行情！送货上门！4，3，2，1！
收件箱里的开价可别错过
逛逛礼品店！考虑一下（大人物！！！）
预知详情，请点击（链接已屏蔽）
...有人能听见吗？救救我...
...迈克...迈克？哈口合哈哈！
史无前例的绝佳好货
难以置信的超赞交易
看穿您心中的诱惑
竭露您真正的所需
若能忍受这些行话
暗之民包管您满意
支持现金会员信用卡
只要您的决心当回礼
（安全保障！）我可熟知各种优惠政策！
（说真的...）难道你想频困而死？
老兄，我来帮你准确投资！
所以来谈谈（延长保修期）！
正是超级好货，清仓，机不可失
开业V大吉！全场A半价，绝无L仅有U的跳楼价E！
PU而你R的CH每A$一次上们E都是可以D是$一次CO寻UN宝T
所NOR有百货大EF楼U的N焯极D典范$！
$A可惜VI现实是N所有人G都得把它$拥有，都PR要把O它PU拥有CT$
K真R正拥有之O人才M能拥E有R
如果你没有，可，你拥有后，谁都嘿不走
现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
因为没有的人就是没有他们的这份利诱
如今广告赶上了好时候
大数据也被我们明白透
所以你正在清空购物兜
毕竟连你老子也想拥有
不打包送礼的你伤了他老人家的心，真是糟透
所以你惊慌失措中手忙脚乱地抢购
看上去所有人都已经拥有，朋友，你真的得去拥有
所以你也拥有，你也要笑抽，但屏幕铃声如同魔咒
然后它就落后，昙花一现，成了塑料榔头
于是你随手将它丢掉并钻进车窗口
因为你不再拥有
结果事实上所有人都想把它拥有，都快把它拥有
只有拥有的人才会拥有
就算你没有，嗯，你拥有后，谁都黑不走
现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
（额滴娘哟！）真是拗口！
引用自（百科全书-条目）（害怕）
根本没什么好怕的，除了，揭不开锅
还有好多交易能用（季节性储蓄）支付！
本地的评分急剧下滑
尖叫与胡话，不停地估价
（平凡的小盘画满没用的装饰）
用甜美的措辞修饰着灰色地带
就算一只脚进了棺材，也要与恶魔愉快地交易
为了填补空虚，吃掉这（小玩具）
真是笔好买卖！我感觉自己都快要（$!$$）
填补那空虚，吃掉（小玩具）
（糖桶，泡菜桶，牛奶锅都不见了）
好空虚，（小玩具）！
我都快感到它一“贯”的（顺滑口感）了！
弥补这空虚，需要（小玩具）！
（链接已屏蔽）

🔤 LRC翻译歌词 

[by:欧阳天领]
[00:04.259]哇哦！这钚是一个，光之苠吗！
[00:06.442]嘿，口黑，嘿！
[00:07.742]看起来你（深夜孑然一身）？
[00:09.414]你所有的朋友，（丢下你玩史莱姆），去了？
[00:12.127]销量，下滑如（流水）（流水）？？
[00:14.336]只好住进天杀的垃圾桶？？？
[00:17.228]口合口合口合口合口合！
[00:19.562]老兄，不管你是不是（闭上了双眼）
[00:21.277]这（余额）让你并不想要面对
[00:22.968]又或者没意识到大打（折扣）
[00:25.368]仅需要你把（心形物件）晒在
[00:27.429]社交平台上
[00:30.553]嘿孩子，看看你！正确的时间，正好的地儿
[00:32.199]你口袋里那（正是收获的好时机！）的钱钱真是正点！
[00:34.084]你可真走运！太-走运了！喔，真的太，太走运了！
[00:35.815]因为你已被选为（榉世无you双的太项目！）的赞助商
[00:37.527]甲方正是各位砰友最喜欢的（好评率第1的推销员）（始于1997）！
[00:40.949]很荣幸这么说！很荣辛这么说！！
[00:42.594]是的，就是有这么荣幸！（是的，先生！）
[00:44.545]难道你不想莱点乐子吗，（小海绵）？
[00:46.072]要是这个小玩意能把你从郁郁寡欢中拔出？
[00:47.734]安居乐业（*风险资本！）真！香！
[00:49.385]听好了！此时不搏待何时
[00:51.142]（嘿，老兄！）我看清了你那暴力的本性
[00:53.009]可你难道不想成为成为一个（大人物！！）吗？
[00:54.636]（今日就来咨询！）秘密正待发倔！
[00:56.263]你只需要（链接已屏蔽）
[00:58.131]从前我只不过是个发邮件的家伙
[01:00.290]可现在我已经是（好烫！嗷！快停下！救命啊！烫死我啦！）了！
[01:04.573]口合口合口合哈口合口合！
[01:05.039]史无前例的绝佳好货
[01:06.366]难以置信的超赞交易
[01:08.026]看穿您心中的诱惑
[01:09.674]竭露您真正的所需
[01:11.436]若您接受这些行话
[01:13.126]暗之民包管您满意
[01:14.857]支持现金会员信用卡
[01:16.594]只要您的决心当回礼
[01:18.061]精神萎靡不振？人生失去掌控？
[01:19.782]生活一塌糊涂？遭受朋友鄙弃？
[01:21.845]震惊！一组没人曝光的解决方法（最早由一位母亲发现）
[01:23.662]我确信，有99.9%的人都想不到第五条！
[01:25.323]你所梦寐以求的光辉，璀璨！
[01:26.936]系好安全带！快去扼住（愚蠢的提线）！
[01:28.748]是你的！就是你的！只要你一句话，就能到手！
[01:30.526]哈哈哈口合哈！可是我没在听
[01:32.284]瞧，上面写了，就这里，在去年
[01:33.993]在5:06处，第四页的第三行
[01:35.702]你在网上搜索了猫片（老铁没毛病！）
[01:38.083]新“潮”的，美味的这li些shi饼ji干lu
[01:39.395]打出的“猫猫”作为催化剂，就到手了这份推荐
[01:41.320]我们会猜猜诸位的喜好偏向
[01:42.229]想要够买“猫”洞？“猫”食？“毛”血旺？“锚”船？
[01:44.575]但你别“贸”然地火“冒”三丈
[01:45.803]这场“贸”易一定会让你感“冒”
[01:47.565]汇集（所有你最喜欢的外“贸”品牌）
[01:48.939]“冒”险挑起广告主义的对立（急需现金）！
[01:50.679]不过“貌”似你最好还是打消你的计划
[01:51.430]（饼干和泡菜还有扑蝇胶请自费购买）！
[01:53.013]要不来个“猫”猫公仔？公仔玩具？玩具装盒？装盒白酒？
[01:55.296]“就”是迈克为啥再无消“息”？？？
[01:56.371]“西”洋双陆棋包？“爆”炒火腿蛋？蛋椅？椅子床？
[01:58.301]床上擦浴？擦浴海绵？海绵痛恨它那（仅售$4.99！）
[02:00.571]“救”生船？船鞋？鞋带？“袋”豆？
[02:02.683]豆包？“暴”风笛？“滴”答的土制炸弹？“单”件紧腰短夹克？
[02:04.071]“客”串的寒鸦号？“好”用的门停？
[02:04.686]（停下！不，求求了！别拿走我的家具了！）
[02:06.712]停表？“镖”客狗？狗链？“练”练库罗德车？
[02:08.462]“测”测***？“暗”处的广告渗入荧屏
[02:09.646]“乒”乓？“庞”大的雨衣？“一”条阻风门链？链锯？
[02:11.468]“巨”型剑鱼？鱼肉烤扇贝？“北”美大山猫？
[02:13.020]（你 到 底 还 要 不 要 “猫” ？！）
[02:13.769]好吧，你不是想成为一个（大人物）吗？
[02:15.468]难道你不想成为（下一颗巨星）？
[02:17.192]你能做到！没错，真的，千真万确
[02:18.470]得来全不费功扶，我保证，听听电话铃声吧！
[02:20.419]铃，铃，铃，铃，铃，钅令，铃，铃，铃
[02:22.442]你是认真的吗？...是找你的  *乱哄哄的噪音*
[02:24.899]想听个秘密吗..？（链接以屏蔽）
[02:27.396]（你还可以）和那个（莫名其妙的笑声）去（亲密接触）一下
[02:31.123]马上，我就能超过那个天杀的...镇上小丑！
[02:33.937]史无前例的绝佳好货
[02:35.483]难以置信的超赞交易
[02:37.154]看穿您心中的诱惑
[02:38.761]竭露您真正的所需
[02:40.614]若能忍受这些行话
[02:42.323]暗之民包管您满意
[02:44.005]支持现金会员信用卡
[02:45.850]只要您的决心当回礼
[02:48.046]神圣的（超级妈耶车！）啊，你在这呢（时髦的）小（蠕虫）
[02:49.551]看来你还没意识到自己的价值有多高
[02:51.256]如果你想挣大钱
[02:52.049]好吧你得学着点
[02:52.903]榨干人类的良心
[02:53.931]才有（用来搅拌的黄油）
[02:54.779]你，想，它；要，它；还，不，懂？
[02:57.777]不过如果你想要再多薅点羊毛
[02:59.902]那你急需我的“大羊”生成器
[03:01.385]没错，你惹火烧身，朋友（你 说 啥？）
[03:02.797]在这座赛博城
[03:04.576]瞧瞧，我曾经可是个（顶流）（大人物！）
[03:05.881]最好的交易！最好的载具！最好，（三角洲最实惠的价格）
[03:08.564]但你能重回巅峰！哈哈口合！是的，你可以！
[03:10.056]你只用按照我的（十二步计划）走
[03:11.754]大，更大，就像电话另一边说的一样
[03:13.642]（去打听打听这条街上最靓的仔！！！）爱财有道，君子取之
[03:15.240]有没有好心人能可怜可怜
[03:16.658]我们这家破旧的小杂货铺？
[03:18.007]走你！拿下！再走你再拿下！！
[03:19.614]做笔交易！大生意，大价钱！年末清仓，全场五折
[03:22.015]最新行情！送货上门！4，3，2，1！
[03:23.884]收件箱里的开价可别错过
[03:25.602]逛逛礼品店！考虑一下（大人物！！！）
[03:27.160]预知详情，请点击（链接已屏蔽）
[03:31.348]...有人能听见吗？救救我...
[03:38.239]...迈克...迈克？哈口合哈哈！
[03:42.641]史无前例的绝佳好货
[03:44.071]难以置信的超赞交易
[03:45.733]看穿您心中的诱惑
[03:47.239]竭露您真正的所需
[03:49.141]若能忍受这些行话
[03:50.846]暗之民包管您满意
[03:52.569]支持现金会员信用卡
[03:54.259]只要您的决心当回礼
[03:56.187]（安全保障！）我可熟知各种优惠政策！
[03:57.995]（说真的...）难道你想频困而死？
[03:59.907]老兄，我来帮你准确投资！
[04:01.489]所以来谈谈（延长保修期）！
[04:03.342]正是超级好货，清仓，机不可失
[04:04.533]开业V大吉！全场A半价，绝无L仅有U的跳楼价E！
[04:06.517]PU而你R的CH每A$一次上们E都是可以D是$一次CO寻UN宝T
[04:08.118]所NOR有百货大EF楼U的N焯极D典范$！
[04:10.140]$A可惜VI现实是N所有人G都得把它$拥有，都PR要把O它PU拥有CT$
[04:11.804]K真R正拥有之O人才M能拥E有R
[04:12.605]如果你没有，可，你拥有后，谁都嘿不走
[04:13.954]现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
[04:15.747]因为没有的人就是没有他们的这份利诱
[04:16.966]如今广告赶上了好时候
[04:17.995]大数据也被我们明白透
[04:18.652]所以你正在清空购物兜
[04:19.580]毕竟连你老子也想拥有
[04:20.528]不打包送礼的你伤了他老人家的心，真是糟透
[04:21.953]所以你惊慌失措中手忙脚乱地抢购
[04:23.643]看上去所有人都已经拥有，朋友，你真的得去拥有
[04:25.399]所以你也拥有，你也要笑抽，但屏幕铃声如同魔咒
[04:27.103]然后它就落后，昙花一现，成了塑料榔头
[04:28.808]于是你随手将它丢掉并钻进车窗口
[04:29.906]因为你不再拥有
[04:30.429]结果事实上所有人都想把它拥有，都快把它拥有
[04:32.386]只有拥有的人才会拥有
[04:32.897]就算你没有，嗯，你拥有后，谁都黑不走
[04:34.071]现在没有的人就是没有而拥有的人乐悠悠
[04:36.089]（额滴娘哟！）真是拗口！
[04:37.567]引用自（百科全书-条目）（害怕）
[04:39.180]根本没什么好怕的，除了，揭不开锅
[04:40.908]还有好多交易能用（季节性储蓄）支付！
[04:42.752]本地的评分急剧下滑
[04:44.407]尖叫与胡话，不停地估价
[04:46.276]（平凡的小盘画满没用的装饰）
[04:47.900]用甜美的措辞修饰着灰色地带
[04:49.556]就算一只脚进了棺材，也要与恶魔愉快地交易
[04:51.333]为了填补空虚，吃掉这（小玩具）
[04:53.251]真是笔好买卖！我感觉自己都快要（$!$$）
[04:54.748]填补那空虚，吃掉（小玩具）
[04:56.526]（糖桶，泡菜桶，牛奶锅都不见了）
[04:58.037]好空虚，（小玩具）！
[04:59.459]我都快感到它一“贯”的（顺滑口感）了！
[05:01.607]弥补这空虚，需要（小玩具）！
[05:04.098]（链接已屏蔽）

📝 纯歌词版本 

作词 : Gregory Holgate
 作曲 : Quinlan Stuwe
Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!
Hey, hey, hey!
Looks like you’re （All Alone On A Late Night）
All your friends （Abandoned you for the slime）, you are?
Sales gone down the (Drain)(Drain)?
Living in a goddamn garbage can?
Hahahahaha!
Friend, either you're (Closing Your Eyes)
To (Savings)you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the calibre of (Discounts)
Indicated by the presence of a(HeartShapedObject)
In your community
Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place
(Ripe for the picking) right monеy in your pocket!
You’re so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so vеry, very lucky!
That you get to be investing in this(Very Specil Product)
From everybody’s favorite (Number 1 Rated Salesman)(Circa 1997)
Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!
Yes, I’m mighty proud to say it! (YES SIR)
Don’t you want to have a little fun (little sponge)?
Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?
Live comfortably(CAPITAL AT RISK)yum-yum!
Listen up! For the offer only comes just once
(Hey, Chum!) I can see you’re having violent thoughts
But don’t you wanna wanna be a be a (BIG SHOT!!!)
(Enquire Today!) while the secret’s in stock!
All you gotta do is (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
I used to be nothing but the email guy
Now I’m the (It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!) guy!
Hahahahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?
Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?
Well, here’s one weird trick (discovered by a mom)
And I’m sure number five will surprise you!
All you’ve ever dreamed of, shining, glistening!
Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the (Silly String)!
You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it’s yours!
Hahahahaha! I wasn’t listening
See, it says just here, right here, last year
On the third of the fourth at 5:06
You searched cat pics online (Well That’s Just Fine)
Moist, delicious cookies
Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
And we’ll guess what every habit is
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
You’ll be categorically catatonic
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
A (Cavalcade Of All Your Favorite Brands)
An advertism schism cataclysm (Cash On Demand)
You’d better cancel your plans
(Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper)!
Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
Why won’t Mike just call me?
Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?
Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its ($4.99)
Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?
Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?
Jackdaw? Doorstop?
(Stop! No, Please! Don’t Take My Furniture!)
Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?
Adderall? Ads are all seeping
Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws?
Swordfish? Shish kebab? Bobcat?
(Do You Want A Cat Or Not?!)
Well, you wanna be a (BIG SHOT) don’t you?
Don’t you wanna be the (NEXT BIG THING)
You can do it! Yes, it’s true, it’s really true
There’s nothing to it, I can prove it, hear the registers ring!
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
You’re kidding? It’s for you *garbage noise*
Wanna know a secret? (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
(You too can) have a (Communion) with (Unintelligible Laughter)
Soon, I’ll even surpass that damned clown around town!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
Holy (Cungadero) there you (Funky) little (Worm)
You seem unaware of all the money you could earn
If you wanna get the gold
Well, there is stuff you gotta learn
Milk the humans of their kindness
Then there’s (Butter To Be Churned)
You want it, need it, don't you see?
But if you wanna make your screen green
You’re gonna need my kromer key
Yes, you’ve got trouble, my friend (WHADAYATALK?)
Right here in Cyber City
See, I used to be a (Top-notch) (BIG SHOT!!!)
Best deals! Best wheels! Best, (Best Prices In The Tri-State Area)
But you can get it back! Hahaha! Yes, you can!
All you gotta do is follow through my (Twelve Step Plan)
Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me
(You Gotta Know The Territory!!!) Spend a hand, lend a grand
Who’s gonna patronize a little bitty
Two-by-four kinda store anymore?
Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!
Make a deal! Big deal, high score! Our store is closing
Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4 3 2 1
Not skipping offers wired into your inbox
Swing by the gift shop! Think of the (BIG SHOT!!!)
All this and more click (HYPERLINK BLOCKED)
...can anyone hear me? Help
...Mike... Mike? Hahahaha!
We’ve got never bettered bargains
We’ve got deals you won’t believe
We can tell you what you want
Before you realise what you need
If you’ll pardon us the jargon
Here’s our Darkner guarantee
We take cash or card or credit
But we’ll take your heart for free
(Insurance!) Know that I’m the best in policy!
(Honestly) do you want to end in poverty?
Buddy, I’m the one to help invest it properly!
I’m here to talk about (Extended Warranty)!
It’s a super bumper, liquidation, last chance
First day, half price, fire sale like never before!
And it’s there to explore, when you step in the door
The very model of a modern major general store!
But the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's
Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they’re having
Now the ads have got the traffic
And we’ve grabbed your demographic
So you’re packing up your basket
'Cause your dad has gotta have it
He’ll be sad if you don’t wrap it with a tag, it’ll be tragic
So you’re manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic
Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it
So you get it, you’re ecstatic but a crackle in the static
And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic
So you trash it then you get back into your car
'Cause you don’t have it
And the fact is everybody’s gotta have it, gotta have it
Those who have it really have it
If you haven’t, well, you’ve had it, couldn’t hack it
Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad it's
(Hochi-mama) what a mouthful!
In the (Encyclopedia of) (Being Afraid)
There ain’t nothing to be scared of 'til there’s fees to be paid
There’s deals to be made with (Seasonal Savings)!
Regional ratings are lethally fading
Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising
(Neat little plate with a needless engraving)
Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing
Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
Deals so good I’ll **** myself
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan)
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
I can feel that (Smooth Taste) already!
Feeding the cravings, eat little plaything
(HYPERLINK BLOCKED)

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The Stupendium