Ho Ho Ho Ho!
There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
Gussied up candy canes and balls
Those carolers have kept me up for hours
It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
Now I'm no wiccan commie or nothing
But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
But it'll surely make a fool out of every man
HA
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
And all you mother****ers go to hell
If I ain't cockeyed then it Kwanzaa
Joy to the world and jack and coke
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
Cause I never anything but broke
Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
And those colored lights are ****ing infantile
I think we collectively as the people
Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
And tell the world:
"Let's buy some piece and quiet for a change"
Before we spend it all on ****ing toys.
HA
So if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
Fa la la la la go **** yourself!
If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world of getting stoned
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
So leave this god damn scrooge the **** alone.
HA
[00:02.51]Ho Ho Ho Ho!
[00:13.87]There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
[00:17.25]Gussied up candy canes and balls
[00:21.63]Those carolers have kept me up for hours
[00:25.47]It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
[00:29.32]Now I'm no wiccan commie or nothing
[00:33.12]But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
[00:36.88]It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
[00:40.82]But it'll surely make a fool out of every man
[00:44.48]HA
[00:45.70]If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
[00:49.00][00:45.70]You know where to stick those jingle bells
[00:52.92]If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
[00:56.24]And all you mother****ers go to hell
[01:00.60]If I ain't cockeyed then it Kwanzaa
[01:04.30]Joy to the world and jack and coke
[01:07.79]If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
[01:11.84]Cause I never anything but broke
[01:17.71]Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
[01:21.21]Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
[01:25.40]Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
[01:28.81]And those colored lights are ****ing infantile
[01:32.62]I think we collectively as the people
[01:36.57]Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
[01:40.35]And tell the world:
[01:42.30]"Let's buy some piece and quiet for a change"
[01:44.11]Before we spend it all on ****ing toys.
[01:47.51]HA
[01:49.60]So if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
[01:51.88]You know where to stick those jingle bells
[01:55.82]If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
[01:59.53]Fa la la la la go **** yourself!
[02:03.93]If I ain't cockeyed it ain't Kwanzaa
[02:07.52]Joy to the world of getting stoned
[02:11.50]If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
[02:14.97]So leave this god damn scrooge the **** alone.
[02:18.10]HA