F.F.F

Part I:

I think I’m confused
My deepest soul is fading and disappearing
One showed me how to love
Another one told me ‘You gotta clean them’
Angel and demon
Good versus evil
I’m afraid to face them
…I’m suffering!
That’s what happened
Every night I have been tortured by pain
‘Not my business, …’

‘We don’t have any right to judge’
‘He’s definitely trying to make up a lie for us’

‘I’m good with the quit and strove with none’
‘I’ll be the greatest…’

‘I don’t care the money and the fame’
‘I’m gonna buy the fancy clothes drive the fastest cars’

More than 700 days
I’ve been taking a long rest but I feel more tired
Tryna calm but sometimes art’s come from my anger
I believe in …
Always showing love but I know I’m a liar
Tryna control violence in my head
But still wanna clean that …

Have you ever doubted your faith?
And tryna raise a few questions？
God hath leaden feet, but iron hands
 That’s why I’m confused
I’m not a Christian but for somehow I’m praying

I’m praying
For everybody
For you
For me
For someone who’s pure and has loyalty
I’m praying cuz I know it

Ok I’m done I feel calm
Just wanna ask you something
Things you’ve told me, I found it
But why is that all wrong？
I’m confused
I wonder why the truth is gone
When I need someone to save me

Now you blame me for I’m losing soul and faith
Tell me what’s the price for being a human I gotta pay
I’m not done yet
I know there’s something beautiful I gotta find it
I don’t believe in destiny
There’s only judge and punish

Part II ：

如果要杀死一个人
只能选择用一种凶器

让他带着愧疚活着会比利刃更加锋利

选择逃离将我自己封闭

仅存的善意正审视着我并发出抗议

蜷缩在那沙发边的缝隙
等待着倒计时
等待着最后被迫放弃

面对这突如其来的痛击
我无法接受现实
此刻显得无比抗拒
盯着破碎不堪的屏幕
投影出我做错的脸

深呼吸以后
习惯性地闭上我没落的眼

安慰自己
人性有错落的面

戒不掉的懦弱
我一次又一次堕落地捡

默默地演
演一条落魄的犬

种种行为都幼稚得像是个未破的茧
没兑现过的言

没能赶上最后一面
算来算去后悔是否来得太过多了点

所以 我试着去弥补这些事呢
去习惯被人怒吼
去习惯被人弃舍
去习惯被人遗忘
去习惯无能为力

想要保护她
奈何我只是个可悲的戏子

是的
我全部通通记得

曾经选择忘记的
我现在选择记得

我现在把我自己剖开
希望你感到赤诚而不是感到赤裸

Part III:

我曾经讲出谎言
试图躲入那些个假话

我曾经想要得到同情
把多处的痛苦夸大

我曾经眼睁睁的看着多数的人被打压

我曾经目睹这一切后做多数人做的哑巴

我曾经面对珍视的事说不
说无伤大雅

后来也会想方设法去拖住某一个刹那

我曾经为了让她开心说出编出的大话
最后没能兑现她告诉我说 没事的 傻瓜

曾经逃避那些挫折
把错误怪罪给爸爸
曾经把愤怒的情绪过度地带给了妈妈
曾经看着她痛哭后
被错付的情绪夹杂
他们看我的眼神
从充满爱意到充满了害怕

讲到这些犯过的错
泪流得不止
我无法挽回这一篇篇
无法回头的故事
每一次叫醒自己告诫自己
最后也如此
讲出些伪善的借口
随后又感到很无耻

我的神啊
我无法分清我的善伪
但是你能否听到我的这一句句忏悔
每一次失去后来的反悔
这马后炮的嘴脸现在让我感到反胃
很惭愧
我真心感到惭愧
躲在角落不敢面对的我像个残废
Wake up wake up wake up and fight
我不想他们再次为了我悲伤而含泪
 音效设计Sound Designer：大迈MizarMin
 交响乐团Symphony Orchestra：布达佩斯交响乐团

[00:05.00]Part I:
[00:21.49]
[00:21.69]I think I’m confused
[00:22.73]My deepest soul is fading and disappearing
[00:25.64]One showed me how to love
[00:26.23]Another one told me ‘You gotta clean them’
[00:28.87]Angel and demon
[00:29.62]Good versus evil
[00:30.53]I’m afraid to face them
[00:31.02]…I’m suffering!
[00:31.96]That’s what happened
[00:32.82]Every night I have been tortured by pain
[00:35.87]‘Not my business, …’
[00:37.12]
[00:37.42]‘We don’t have any right to judge’
[00:38.83]‘He’s definitely trying to make up a lie for us’
[00:40.01]
[00:40.71]‘I’m good with the quit and strove with none’
[00:42.20]‘I’ll be the greatest…’
[00:43.12]
[00:43.32]‘I don’t care the money and the fame’
[00:44.87]‘I’m gonna buy the fancy clothes drive the fastest cars’
[00:46.43]
[00:46.83]More than 700 days
[00:47.59]I’ve been taking a long rest but I feel more tired
[00:50.64]Tryna calm but sometimes art’s come from my anger
[00:53.75]I believe in …
[00:54.69]Always showing love but I know I’m a liar
[00:56.70]Tryna control violence in my head
[00:58.59]But still wanna clean that …
[01:00.00]
[01:00.24]Have you ever doubted your faith?
[01:01.54]And tryna raise a few questions？
[01:03.38]God hath leaden feet, but iron hands
[01:04.98] That’s why I’m confused
[01:09.54]I’m not a Christian but for somehow I’m praying
[01:14.02]
[01:15.02]I’m praying
[01:16.83]For everybody
[01:18.28]For you
[01:19.32]For me
[01:20.17]For someone who’s pure and has loyalty
[01:23.03]I’m praying cuz I know it
[01:33.59]
[01:37.42]Ok I’m done I feel calm
[01:39.84]Just wanna ask you something
[01:41.42]Things you’ve told me, I found it
[01:43.15]But why is that all wrong？
[01:44.61]I’m confused
[01:45.87]I wonder why the truth is gone
[01:47.75]When I need someone to save me
[01:50.75]
[01:50.95]Now you blame me for I’m losing soul and faith
[01:53.46]Tell me what’s the price for being a human I gotta pay
[01:56.82]I’m not done yet
[01:57.98]I know there’s something beautiful I gotta find it
[02:00.37]I don’t believe in destiny
[02:01.69]There’s only judge and punish
[02:03.28]
[02:03.48]Part II ：
[02:33.03]
[02:33.53]如果要杀死一个人
[02:34.77]只能选择用一种凶器
[02:35.95]
[02:36.05]让他带着愧疚活着会比利刃更加锋利
[02:38.46]
[02:38.66]选择逃离将我自己封闭
[02:40.43]
[02:40.63]仅存的善意正审视着我并发出抗议
[02:42.56]
[02:42.76]蜷缩在那沙发边的缝隙
[02:44.94]等待着倒计时
[02:45.76]等待着最后被迫放弃
[02:47.16]
[02:47.36]面对这突如其来的痛击
[02:49.16]我无法接受现实
[02:50.41]此刻显得无比抗拒
[02:51.66]盯着破碎不堪的屏幕
[02:52.62]投影出我做错的脸
[02:53.68]
[02:53.88]深呼吸以后
[02:54.64]习惯性地闭上我没落的眼
[02:55.78]
[02:55.98]安慰自己
[02:56.87]人性有错落的面
[02:58.00]
[02:58.11]戒不掉的懦弱
[02:59.05]我一次又一次堕落地捡
[03:00.38]
[03:00.58]默默地演
[03:01.40]演一条落魄的犬
[03:02.17]
[03:02.37]种种行为都幼稚得像是个未破的茧
[03:04.70]没兑现过的言
[03:05.51]
[03:05.71]没能赶上最后一面
[03:06.90]算来算去后悔是否来得太过多了点
[03:08.75]
[03:08.95]所以 我试着去弥补这些事呢
[03:11.18]去习惯被人怒吼
[03:12.28]去习惯被人弃舍
[03:13.36]去习惯被人遗忘
[03:14.39]去习惯无能为力
[03:15.24]
[03:15.44]想要保护她
[03:16.09]奈何我只是个可悲的戏子
[03:17.21]
[03:17.41]是的
[03:18.86]我全部通通记得
[03:19.74]
[03:19.94]曾经选择忘记的
[03:20.87]我现在选择记得
[03:22.03]
[03:22.23]我现在把我自己剖开
[03:24.02]希望你感到赤诚而不是感到赤裸
[03:26.03]
[03:26.33]Part III:
[03:34.07]
[03:34.77]我曾经讲出谎言
[03:35.61]试图躲入那些个假话
[03:37.02]
[03:37.12]我曾经想要得到同情
[03:38.17]把多处的痛苦夸大
[03:39.08]
[03:39.28]我曾经眼睁睁的看着多数的人被打压
[03:41.08]
[03:41.38]我曾经目睹这一切后做多数人做的哑巴
[03:43.56]
[03:43.76]我曾经面对珍视的事说不
[03:45.16]说无伤大雅
[03:45.90]
[03:46.00]后来也会想方设法去拖住某一个刹那
[03:47.89]
[03:48.09]我曾经为了让她开心说出编出的大话
[03:50.37]最后没能兑现她告诉我说 没事的 傻瓜
[03:52.67]
[03:52.87]曾经逃避那些挫折
[03:53.63]把错误怪罪给爸爸
[03:54.69]曾经把愤怒的情绪过度地带给了妈妈
[03:56.70]曾经看着她痛哭后
[03:57.92]被错付的情绪夹杂
[03:59.05]他们看我的眼神
[04:00.04]从充满爱意到充满了害怕
[04:01.21]
[04:01.41]讲到这些犯过的错
[04:02.46]泪流得不止
[04:03.31]我无法挽回这一篇篇
[04:04.47]无法回头的故事
[04:05.43]每一次叫醒自己告诫自己
[04:06.76]最后也如此
[04:07.45]讲出些伪善的借口
[04:08.55]随后又感到很无耻
[04:09.71]
[04:09.91]我的神啊
[04:10.96]我无法分清我的善伪
[04:12.09]但是你能否听到我的这一句句忏悔
[04:14.48]每一次失去后来的反悔
[04:16.43]这马后炮的嘴脸现在让我感到反胃
[04:18.64]很惭愧
[04:19.45]我真心感到惭愧
[04:21.07]躲在角落不敢面对的我像个残废
[04:23.74]Wake up wake up wake up and fight
[04:25.65]我不想他们再次为了我悲伤而含泪
[04:26.83] 音效设计Sound Designer：大迈MizarMin
[04:27.57] 交响乐团Symphony Orchestra：布达佩斯交响乐团
[04:29.42]

(我很疑惑)
(我最深处的灵魂逐渐消散)
(有两个声音)
(一个教我表达爱)
(另一个让我毁掉一切)
(可能这就是为什么人们说)
(天使与魔鬼)
(善与恶)
(我害怕面对这些)
(我很痛苦)
(这就是我的遭遇)
(每晚我都被痛苦折磨)
(“我们应该对他人给予更多的爱”)
(“与我无关就别来沾边”)
(“我们没有任何权利去评判别人”)
(“他肯定是在故意编造一个谎言给我们”)
(“我要退出然后与世无争”)
(“我要成为最最最最伟大的那个”)
(“不在乎名与利”)
(“只要华衣与豪车”)
(700多天的沉寂)
(却让我感觉更无力)
(我试图让自己冷静下来 但艺术来源于愤怒)
(我很虔诚)
(带着爱 却撒了谎)
(试图控制心中的猛兽)
(但牢笼已经摇摇欲坠)
(你有质疑过你的信仰)
(然后试图提问吗？)
(人们常说善恶到头终有报)
(所以我很疑惑)
(我看到的都是好多人的生命被夺走了)
(我虽不是信徒 此刻却在真实地祈祷)
(我在祈祷)
(为每一个)
(为你)
(为我)
(为了那些拥有纯洁灵魂和忠诚的人)
(我在祈祷 因为我知道)
(人们需要表达自己真实的爱)
(好的 我冷静下来了)
(我只是想问你一些问题)
(你告诉我的那些事情 我找到了)
(但为什么最后我发现它是错的)
(我真的很疑惑)
(我想知道为什么真相离我远去)
(当我需要救赎的时候)
(你又在哪里)
(你现在责怪我丢失了灵魂和信仰)
(告诉我 作为一个人我需要付出怎样的代价)
(我还没结束)
(我知道还有些美好的事物等着我去找到)
(我不相信命运)
(只有审判和惩罚)
(If you want to kill a person)
(You can only choose one murder weapon)
(Let him live with guilt will be sharper than a sharp blade)
(Chose to run away and close myself in)
(The little goodwill I have left is looking at me and protesting)
(Curled up in that crack by couch)
(Waiting for the countdown)
(Waiting to give up)
(Facing the sudden shock)
(I can’t accept the reality of this moment)
(And I’m resisting it)
(Staring at the broken screen)
(Projecting the face of my mistake)
(After taking a deep breath)
(I habitually close my eyes)
(I console myself with the fact)
(That there is a wrong side to humanity)
(I can’t quit the cowardice)
(I’ve picked up over and over again)
(Acting in silence)
(Like a downtrodden dog)
(Acting childishly like an unbroken cocoon)
(And unfulfilled promises)
(I didn’t make it to the last meeting)
(Realizing that regrets come too often)
(So, I’m trying to make up for it)
(Get used to being yelled at)
(Get used to being abandoned)
(Get used to being forgotten)
(Get used to not being able to do anything)
(Trying to protect her)
(But I’m just a pathetic playwright)
(Yes, I am)
(I remember everything)
(What I once chose to forget)
(I now choose to remember)
(I want you to feel honest, not naked)
(I used to tell lies)
(Trying to hide behind them)
(I’ve wanted sympathy)
(To exaggerate the pain of the many)
(I’ve watched the majority get crushed)
(I’ve seen it all and been the same mute as the majority)
(I’ve said no to things I’ve held cherish)
(Said that it wouldn’t hurt)
(Then I’ve tried to hold back that single moment)
(I used to say big words to make her happy)
(In the end I couldn’t keep what she told me that it’s okay)
(I used to run away from my frustrations)
(And blame my dad for the mistakes)
(I used to bring my anger to my mom too much)
(I’ve watched her crying)
(And been caught up in the wrong emotions)
(The way they looked at me)
(Changed from love to fear)
(As I talked about the mistakes I’d made)
(Tears streamed down my face)
(I can’t undo this story)
(That I can’t go back from)
(Every time I wake up and tell myself)
(I’ll end up doing the same)
(I make some hypocritical excuses)
(And then I feel ashamed)
(God)
(I can’t tell my good from my bad)
(But can you hear the confession of mine)
(Of every loss that I’ve suffered)
(This face now turns my stomach)
(I’m ashamed)
(I’m truly ashamed)
(I’m a cripple hiding in the corner, afraid to face it)
(醒来 醒来 醒来 重新起航)
(I don’t want them to cry over me again)

[00:21.69](我很疑惑)
[00:22.73](我最深处的灵魂逐渐消散)
[00:24.58](有两个声音)
[00:25.64](一个教我表达爱)
[00:26.23](另一个让我毁掉一切)
[00:27.90](可能这就是为什么人们说)
[00:28.87](天使与魔鬼)
[00:29.62](善与恶)
[00:30.53](我害怕面对这些)
[00:31.02](我很痛苦)
[00:31.96](这就是我的遭遇)
[00:32.82](每晚我都被痛苦折磨)
[00:34.34](“我们应该对他人给予更多的爱”)
[00:35.87](“与我无关就别来沾边”)
[00:37.42](“我们没有任何权利去评判别人”)
[00:38.83](“他肯定是在故意编造一个谎言给我们”)
[00:40.71](“我要退出然后与世无争”)
[00:42.20](“我要成为最最最最伟大的那个”)
[00:43.32](“不在乎名与利”)
[00:44.87](“只要华衣与豪车”)
[00:46.83](700多天的沉寂)
[00:47.59](却让我感觉更无力)
[00:50.64](我试图让自己冷静下来 但艺术来源于愤怒)
[00:53.75](我很虔诚)
[00:54.69](带着爱 却撒了谎)
[00:56.70](试图控制心中的猛兽)
[00:58.59](但牢笼已经摇摇欲坠)
[01:00.24](你有质疑过你的信仰)
[01:01.54](然后试图提问吗？)
[01:03.38](人们常说善恶到头终有报)
[01:04.98](所以我很疑惑)
[01:06.53](我看到的都是好多人的生命被夺走了)
[01:09.54](我虽不是信徒 此刻却在真实地祈祷)
[01:15.02](我在祈祷)
[01:16.83](为每一个)
[01:18.28](为你)
[01:19.32](为我)
[01:20.17](为了那些拥有纯洁灵魂和忠诚的人)
[01:23.03](我在祈祷 因为我知道)
[01:25.34](人们需要表达自己真实的爱)
[01:37.42](好的 我冷静下来了)
[01:39.84](我只是想问你一些问题)
[01:41.42](你告诉我的那些事情 我找到了)
[01:43.15](但为什么最后我发现它是错的)
[01:44.61](我真的很疑惑)
[01:45.87](我想知道为什么真相离我远去)
[01:47.75](当我需要救赎的时候)
[01:49.65](你又在哪里)
[01:50.95](你现在责怪我丢失了灵魂和信仰)
[01:53.46](告诉我 作为一个人我需要付出怎样的代价)
[01:56.82](我还没结束)
[01:57.98](我知道还有些美好的事物等着我去找到)
[02:00.37](我不相信命运)
[02:01.69](只有审判和惩罚)
[02:33.53](If you want to kill a person)
[02:34.77](You can only choose one murder weapon)
[02:36.05](Let him live with guilt will be sharper than a sharp blade)
[02:38.66](Chose to run away and close myself in)
[02:40.63](The little goodwill I have left is looking at me and protesting)
[02:42.76](Curled up in that crack by couch)
[02:44.94](Waiting for the countdown)
[02:45.76](Waiting to give up)
[02:47.36](Facing the sudden shock)
[02:49.16](I can’t accept the reality of this moment)
[02:50.41](And I’m resisting it)
[02:51.66](Staring at the broken screen)
[02:52.62](Projecting the face of my mistake)
[02:53.88](After taking a deep breath)
[02:54.64](I habitually close my eyes)
[02:55.98](I console myself with the fact)
[02:56.87](That there is a wrong side to humanity)
[02:58.11](I can’t quit the cowardice)
[02:59.05](I’ve picked up over and over again)
[03:00.58](Acting in silence)
[03:01.40](Like a downtrodden dog)
[03:02.37](Acting childishly like an unbroken cocoon)
[03:04.70](And unfulfilled promises)
[03:05.71](I didn’t make it to the last meeting)
[03:06.90](Realizing that regrets come too often)
[03:08.95](So, I’m trying to make up for it)
[03:11.18](Get used to being yelled at)
[03:12.28](Get used to being abandoned)
[03:13.36](Get used to being forgotten)
[03:14.39](Get used to not being able to do anything)
[03:15.44](Trying to protect her)
[03:16.09](But I’m just a pathetic playwright)
[03:17.41](Yes, I am)
[03:18.86](I remember everything)
[03:19.94](What I once chose to forget)
[03:20.87](I now choose to remember)
[03:24.02](I want you to feel honest, not naked)
[03:34.77](I used to tell lies)
[03:35.61](Trying to hide behind them)
[03:37.12](I’ve wanted sympathy)
[03:38.17](To exaggerate the pain of the many)
[03:39.28](I’ve watched the majority get crushed)
[03:41.38](I’ve seen it all and been the same mute as the majority)
[03:43.76](I’ve said no to things I’ve held cherish)
[03:45.16](Said that it wouldn’t hurt)
[03:46.00](Then I’ve tried to hold back that single moment)
[03:48.09](I used to say big words to make her happy)
[03:50.37](In the end I couldn’t keep what she told me that it’s okay)
[03:52.87](I used to run away from my frustrations)
[03:53.63](And blame my dad for the mistakes)
[03:54.69](I used to bring my anger to my mom too much)
[03:56.70](I’ve watched her crying)
[03:57.92](And been caught up in the wrong emotions)
[03:59.05](The way they looked at me)
[04:00.04](Changed from love to fear)
[04:01.41](As I talked about the mistakes I’d made)
[04:02.46](Tears streamed down my face)
[04:03.31](I can’t undo this story)
[04:04.47](That I can’t go back from)
[04:05.43](Every time I wake up and tell myself)
[04:06.76](I’ll end up doing the same)
[04:07.45](I make some hypocritical excuses)
[04:08.55](And then I feel ashamed)
[04:09.91](God)
[04:10.96](I can’t tell my good from my bad)
[04:12.09](But can you hear the confession of mine)
[04:14.48](Of every loss that I’ve suffered)
[04:16.43](This face now turns my stomach)
[04:18.64](I’m ashamed)
[04:19.45](I’m truly ashamed)
[04:21.07](I’m a cripple hiding in the corner, afraid to face it)
[04:23.74](醒来 醒来 醒来 重新起航)
[04:25.65](I don’t want them to cry over me again)