Tom Lehrer

I always will remember,
'twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game la...

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to...

Time was when an american about to go abroad would be warned by his friends or the guidebooks not to drink the water. but times have changed and now a...

This year we've been celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the civil war and the fiftieth anniversary of the beginning of world war i and the twent...

Some of you who have small children may have perhaps been put in the embarrassing position of being unable to do your child's arithmetic homework beca...

One of the big news items of the past year
Concerned the fact that China,
which we called "Red China"
Exploded a nuclear bomb
which we called a device...

D old days of wyatt earp and home on the range, and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called the wild we...

Who can turn a can into a cane?
Who can turn a pan into a pane?
It's not too hard to see
It's Silent E
Who can turn a cub into a cube?
Who can turn a ...

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron...

One very familiar type of song is the christmas carol. although it is perhaps a bit out of season at this time. however, i'm informed by my "disk jock...

Now, if i may digress momentarily from the main stream of this evenings symposium,
 I'd like to sing a song which is completely pointless
 but which i...

And now to the love song. i'm sure you're familiar with love songs on the order of he's just my bill, my man, my joe, my max, and so on where the girl...

Lly independent having inherited his father's tar-and-feather business and was therefore able to devote his full time to such intellectual pursuits as...

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were ...

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were ...

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were ...

For many years now, mr. danny kaye, who has been my particular idol since childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great russian director stanis...

I always will remember
'Twas a year ago November
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear
I went and shot the maximum
The game laws ...

When you attend a funeral
It is sad to think that sooner or
Later those you love will do the same for you
And you may have thought it tragic
Not to me...

A-suh-puh-ring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time
I do, don't you? 'Course you do
But there's one thing
And makes ev...

When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara
Then I long to be back once again
In Old Mexico
Where we lived for today, never giving a thought to tomara
To the...

I have only comparatively recently emerged from the United States Army, so that I am now, of course, in the Radioactive Reserve. And, the usual jokes ...

Selling out
Is easy to do
It's not so hard
To find a buyer for you
When money talks
Ah, but whaddya have when there's nothing left to sell?
Selling ou...